Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
