I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
