If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
