Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
