I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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