Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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