Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
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we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
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We can get drunk and battle coyotes
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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