Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Still dying that you shit outside
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
