We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Randomize
