I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
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