so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
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we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
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I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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