a queef is a wish your heart makes.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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