You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
