I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
