you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
