I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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