a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
God, I missed his penis.
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