Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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