I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
