So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
bring money and cleavage
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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