oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
