WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
