erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
im about as happy as oj after his trial
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
