dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
