the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
