I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
