Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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