well I can't set my house on fire every night
no, he came in my armpit
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize