You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
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