Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
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Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
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Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering