Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
