Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Why did my mother make you get naked?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
