a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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