Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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