at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
