if i can run in heels then i can drive
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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