erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
