Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
The chlamydia really affected his face.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
