i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
