well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
