If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
