hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Randomize
