It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
