Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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