is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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