Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
