On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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