the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
