last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
i think i have herpe
just one?
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
