You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
My life is pants optional.
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