what if every blade of grass was a penis?
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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