D3 body, D1 cock
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
