took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
