You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
