Where did you get a picture of my penis
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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