I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
