Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
